Words About Things

These are all real headlines about real stories – the kind of stories that make you spit out your morning coffee in disbelief.  Eight of the stories are online, two only made it into print the old fashioned way. Click the links to read the stories behind the headlines.

1. German Throws Puppy at Hells Angels Bikers Then Flees on Bulldozer

No need to flee, Hells Angels love puppies.

2. Clowns Protest Against Clown-Impersonating Armed Robbers

The only thing scarier than a clown is a clown with a sawn-off shotgun.

3. Tiger Wood’s Plays with Own Balls, Nike Says

If this was true Tiger would probably be in a lot less trouble than he is now.

4. SeaWorld Killer Killer Whale Must Die, Bible Insists

In the Whale’s defense its in his nature…

5. Armless Man Questioned After Deadly Fight

Warning: not all armless men are armless.

6. Ninjas Rescue Student From Muggers

Good to see Ninjas putting their powers to good use.

7. Kathy Myers Shot Herself to Get Medical Care

Does being completely insane count as a ‘pre-existing condition’?

8. Chatroulette to Include Penis-Recognition Software

2/3 of users unable to log in.

9. President Obama to Visit Ohio; 62-Foot Statue of Jesus Explodes

I’m worried that people in Ohio might take this as a sign…

10. USA Wins [World Cup Football Match] 1-1

The New York Post are as good at keeping score as Rob Green is at goalkeeping.

A round up of interesting stuff from the internet this week.

1. Erik Elstran is a bmx rider who’s style is unique and more importantly good fun. I can’t really explain any of the moves but trust me, this video is worth watching. Skip past the first 30 seconds though because it starts out with a parody of bad Youtube bmx videos.

2. A Beluga Whale saves (?) a diver in distress in China. The diver was taking part in a Free-diving competition when she found herself unable to use her legs to swim back to the surface, luckily she was diving in a Whale tank at the time.

3. The World’s Most Bizarre Sports.

4.  Look out rubbish faux-punk bands, Buddyhead Records has relaunched it’s infamous Gossip Page (not for the easily offended).

5. The roads are packed full of caravans at this time of year but none of them are this cool. This one doesn’t need a car and manages to reach a decent speed all by itself…

A woman has survived an amazing 100 foot plunge over a cliff in her car, without her seatbelt on. Barbara Tyreman from Whitby, North Yorkshire was left shocked but unharmed after the incident last week. Her Mini was completely ruined but Mrs Tyreman is just happy to be alive.

“I can’t believe I escaped unhurt, It’s unbelievable. When I look at the car I just think ‘How did I survive without a scratch?”

Mrs Tyreman was trying to put her seatbelt on when she accidentally stepped on the accelerator. Then when she trying to stamp on the break she pressed the accelerator again before swerving to avoid another car and plunging over the cliff. She was cut out of the car by firefighters before being airlifted to Scarborough Hospital where she was given the all clear.

Luckily two trees had stopped the car from hitting the ground despite Mrs Tyreman’s best efforts. If I worked for a car rental or car insurance company I would keep a note of Mrs Tyreman’s name

The Compare The Meerkats ad campaign was created by VCCP for CompareTheMarket.com and is a rare example of a viral ad actually going viral. Lots of companies have tried and failed (See Radio 4′s really quite bad attempt) to capture a bit of online buzz. The idea and the execution was good enough for people to actually seek out comparethemeerkat.com and possibly even comparethemarket.com.

It helps that Aleksandr_Orlov (the Meerkat who stars in the advert) has his own Twitter account as well as a functional Meerkat comparing site. The latest part of the campaign is an out-takes video showing bloopers featuring Aleksandr fluffing his lines and struggling with the English language.