Ridden with inaccuracies, half truths, and plain old news.
Odd Stories
Britain’s Sexiest Female Farmer Crowned
Feb 15th
Finally the question on everybody’s lips has been answered. In order to put an end to the endless debates and arguments Farmer’s Weekly magazine has taken on the noble task of working out who is Britain’s sexiest farmer. After weeks of closely examining photos from around the country the winners have been announced.
I live in Devon and you can’t throw a stick around here without hitting a farmer. Most aren’t what you might consider ‘good looking’ unless you like your men/women ruddy, overfed and slightly disheveled (each to their own). Apparently though there are good looking farmers including the winner Anna Simpson of Hutton Rudby in Yorkshire.
Miss Simpson was awarding the title along with £250 and a pair of welly boots. She said she had entered the competition in order to prove that not all farmers are 60 year old men with their trousers held up by a bit of old rope (I’m paraphrasing).
‘When they told me I’d won I thought it was a wind-up. I saw the competition and I thought I’d give it a go and I was short-listed which was brilliant. I was quite surprised I got through as there were so many good entries so I’m really happy. I won £250 but I think the title alone is a great thing to have.”
The male winner was Pete Mortimore of Widdecombe-on-the-Moor, Devon. Mr Mortimore and Miss Simpson fought off some surprisingly fierce competition although some entrants looked suspiciously like farm animals.
Teen Flasher Hit By Distracted Driver
Dec 31st
A teenage girl in New Zealand is recovering after being hit by a car whilst flashing her breasts at passing motorists. The driver of the car was distracted by the sight of Cherelle Dudfield’s breasts and accidentally plowed into her. Ms Dudfield was fined $275 after the incident in Invercargill.
“I was stupid… Don’t get drunk and stand in the middle of the road and flash anyone ’cause it hurts when you get hit,”
The girl told the police that her friends had encouraged her to flash herself to oncoming motorists but she regretted her actions. After rolling over the bonnet of the car she hit the windshield and was lucky to escape serious injury. The Judge charged Ms Dudfield with ‘disorderly behavior’ and encouraged her to keep her attention grabbing breasts undercover.
Indonesian Earthquake Survivor Was Forced To Saw Off His Own Leg
Oct 9th
An 18 year old Sumatran boy has told how he became trapped in rubble after the earthquake in Indonesia and was forced to sever his own leg. The boy, called Ramlan, was working on a construction site in Padang City when the earthquake hit. His leg became trapped under a concrete girder and he was unable to move. Fearing that an aftershock would bring down more rubble on top of him Ramlan was forced to make a quick decision.
The boy used a nearby hoe to try and cut through his leg below the knee. When he found that the hoe was too blunt he called his workmate Eman on his mobile phone. Eman came running despite the danger posed by the remaining building on the site. Eventually with Eman’s help Ramlan managed to cut though his shin bone with a saw. Ramlan was rushed to Yos Sudarso Catholic hospital where he is recovering well.
Ramlan and his friend Eman
“Ramlan’s actions were extraordinary and the courage and determination he showed is typical of many survivors with whom we are working. After the earthquakes in Indonesia, and the typhoons in the Philippines and Vietnam, survivors would have been the first to help themselves and others. Now they urgently need international support, including that being provided by DEC members and partners who are bringing in urgently-needed aid and medical supplies.”
DEC chief executive Brendan Gormley
Swedish Army Girls Complain About Unsuportive Bras
Sep 30th
Female members of the Swedish Army have complained that the Bras they are provided with are not of a high enough quality for combat. They say the regulation issue bras are sub standard and often burst open during strenuous exercise. They are also highly flammable according to a report in the Göteborgs-Posten newspaper.
Around 5% of the Swedish army are female and women have been able to sign up since 1980. the soldiers say that the unsuitable underwear has forced them to buy their own bras and that any issues with the men’s underwear would have been solved straight away.
An unnamed source at the Swedish army has said ‘we need to solve this problem as soon as possible, the last thing we want is the girls bursting out of their bras all the time.’
Portuguese-Man-of-War Spotted of British Coasts.
Sep 15th
Unprecidented numbers of Portugese Man of War jellyfish have been spotted of the coasts of Devon and Cornwall over the last six weeks. There have been 60 reported sightings this summer acording to The Marine Conservation Society. The Man of War is known for its dangerous venom which can cause ‘whip-like, red welts on the skin’ which cause the victim a considerable amount of pain.
The Portuguese Man o’ War is not actually a jellyfish but rather a collony of seperate, individual zooids. Acording to Wikipedia
A Portuguese Man O’ War is not a single animal, but rather a siphonophore – a colony of four kinds of minute, highly modified individuals, which are specialized polyps and medusoids.[1] Each such zooid in these pelagic colonial hydroids or hydrozoans has a high degree of specialization and, although structurally similar to other solitary animals, are all attached to each other and physiologically integrated rather than living independently.
Those encoutering a Man of War are advised not to touch the creature(s). If contact occurs victims may need to seek medical attention depending on their reaction.
The Marine Conservation Society are unsure of why we are seeing increased numbers of Portuguese Man of War although persistent south-westerly winds may be a factor.
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